Pretending

Im pretending like its all figured out, like I still want to have this baby. But the truth is, somedays... Like tonight, I dont. I feel like, though, Ill regret it more if I gave him away than if I keep him. But keeping him is hurting my soul. Its not bringing me closer to God, just making me think God is weird.

I just want it to all be over - either get here already, or die already. But how awful is that? I just want it to be over.

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