Shit happens...

When you ain't fiefia to see your kaume'a...it might mean something.

i hate...

my life

I feel sorry...

...for these beezies. You should be in control of your own body too. Don't act like you didn't know this nigga was a dead beat from the jump. If he comes thru for me if I were pregnant than hallelujah. If it doesnt it ain't no surprise.

Talking about you want him around to be daddy...don't fcking lie. You need a scapegoat someone to blame because you and your people don't know how to take responsibility. Get your life together.

And you... everyday you wanna claim all your offspring but yet you don't wanna do shit. You gotta get right so that you can do right by them...but you can't. You need to take care of business one step at a time.

And me. I just wanna love you be where you are meet you at your lowest be joyful for you at your highest.

But I'm dying. Im dying with you...I'm dying without you. Release me let me go...

Magic number???

Is it six or are there two pictures of the same old? Man that below hurts my feeling. Then he tells some are question marks and yet claims them all. #ishouldbetheonetodie #useless #broken #gohome

what are dreams?

he kissed his baby mama i bashed both their heads he said they lost a
baby i said u had sex with her twice??? and i told my mom... and i
said if i leave him he will die...if i stay with him i will die. she
said at least youll be closer to where you want to be..

does this mean anything?or is it just my own thoughts turned into a movie...

my life is not ...

... hard. But some hhow Ive managed to make it a disaster I was not
raised to be this way...but truth is,I suck at asking for help. I
needed help long time ago but its humbling and humiliating to admit my
life was slowly unraveling. It really starts with my lack of passion,
my specific skill set and Im wondering if my looks affect peoples
judgement. I can do anything. But Im lazy and not pleasant to look at.
I wish this was ten years ago so I could do it all again...but way
better.

Question now is...what now?

missing pieces..

i want to go home .. ut i cant be without him. of vourse i can bu if i
can choose i want to be close to him. but its a missing piece. we
always talk about how incomplete a puzzle is with missing pieces...i
never wondered or realized how empty useless or alone the lost piece
must feel...it was a blessing to be with family today.

frustrated...

im playing around acting homeless... i wanna shower sleep then shower
again...and then fall asleep permanently...

dying...

I'm sitting at the computer in the library...someplace in Sacramento. I'm slowly dying, and I don't know how to combat this disease. I don't know how to save myself. I want to tell you I'm trying, but I don't think that's the case. Also, last time I looked at this computer, it said I have 5 minutes left, now I have 12 minutes.

I need to save myself from myself...I can't even tell you the name of this disease, the symptoms, the treatment. I just know it hurts. My mind, body and soul is suffering. I never even dreamed it would get this point. How did I get here? How did all I know, learn, absorb go down the drain?

I need help. I'm screaming for it...

Can you hear me?

Lightweight in the same place, a little bit better. I'm not really sure what he does, but I know I'm not messing around. So why do I keep thinking he is? Probably to protect myself, probably because I'm not messing around, but I think about it. But I don't ... I think about all that I would lose if I did. But ... why do I get angry so quickly? So tough? Why are we having the same arguments over and over. My face breaks out in small hives - like my face is on fire I'm so stressed out. I eat so much I feel like throwing up - LOL! It sucks, I wanna eat normal. Who can I run to? I went to the graveyard today - and said sorry to my grandmother. And I said sorry to God - because, its really Him I know I'm disappointing.