He has surgery today - removing a tumor [edit, it wasn't no tumor. Lol]. My mother get's her radioactive iodine treatment today, too [She's doing okay]. I prayed before bed last night, I prayed in my dreams and I prayed this morning. I've been sleeping well - except that I wake up at 3 and 6 every morning. This morning it was 2am. I would like to hear from him, that everything went well. I plan to go to court tomorrow, hopefully I'll be doing more good than harm.I hope I don't run into any of his babymamas or girlfriends. I hope I don't have to introduce myself to any of his family. I hope he doesn't look at me. I won't look at him...I think. I hope I don't find out things I don't really want to know. I hope he doesn't have to go to prison, or have to go for too long. Except, if we get legally married, and I can get me "some extended family visits..." lol.
I hope his family and friends pull through and prove me wrong. Show me their down for a dude. I hope God shows up in a crazy miraculous way. I hope he is changed and transformed and all this God talk isn't just cuz he finds himself in a rough place.
I hope he isn't tempted, that he doesn't blame me, that I'm forgiven and he knows that I forgive him. I hope I don't lose myself while trying to find him. I hope I don't drown while I'm trying to save him.
I'm writing this at work... to be continued...
